Fargo, ND - In a wide-ranging speech before the Fargo Council on Foreign Affairs and Quilting Bee, Neo-Whig presidential candidate Chest Notgerman today said that he supports SDI (Strategic Defense Initiative) and will work tirelessly to see that America builds a fleet of galaxy-class starships with both phaser and photon-torpedo capabilities.
In the same speech Notgerman reiterated his opposition to PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) and vowed to make it priority one of the Notgerman justice department.
"PMS is a national disgrace," Notgerman declared. "It's the leading cause of crime in the United States. I know that there are many who have come out in favor of the de-criminalization of PMS, but I believe that if we were to do so it would send the wrong signal to our young children and it would be a slap in the face to the millions of people every year who are the victims of PMS-related crimes."
In related news, Gynecologists for Social Responsibility today announced that they are officially endorsing the candidacy of Chest Notgerman for the presidency. This brings to a total of 837 the number of professional organizations that have officially endorsed the Neo-Whig candidate.�
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