Majority of Anti-War Protesters Test Positive For "Democrat Disease"

Boston, Mass. - Newly released medical research, published in The American Medical Journal, suggests that the vast majority of anti-war protesters are afflicted with the potentially deadly "Democrat Disease". This disease, thought to have been eradicated during the Regan era, appears to have resurfaced after 8 years of "disease friendly" policies by the Clinton administration. Frequently attacking the young, the disease can be fatal if left untreated. Many "terminal" victims of "Democrats Disease" suffer from impaired memory capacity, causing them to forget about things like Chappaquiddick while vocally defending human rights.

"What we are seeing", explains research Doctor James Huff, "is a pattern in the mental process of these victims which can lead to serious consequences." "Prolonged, untreated exposure to this disease can render the afflicted with a loss of common sense, awareness of surroundings, and a general loss of usefulness to society", Huff continued. "This is a very treatable disease, when detected early. For many young adults, leaving home and getting a job can quickly stamp out the disease. It appears the transition, from receiving handouts to paying for these handouts, is powerful treatment for "Democrat Disease". The next time you see war protesters, don't get mad at them, they can't help it if they have a disease."

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