Everyday we hear the same thing from the same people. "If only we could get out of our credit card debts." And when we say the same people... we mean ALL PEOPLE.
Why are you living our lives like we are the United States Government? Why are you spending money we do not have? Are you complete morons? We think so.
Sure, we remember when we got our first credit card. We were huge then! We could fill up our gas tanks then turn around at get a whole meal at Long John Silvers. The world was our oyster and that wasn't even on the menu. But then we got that first bill and it hurt badly in the rectum area. So it slowed us down a bit. Just enough until we were invited with some friends to Cabo and we just didn't have enough extra cash lying around. Wow, did we max that baby out or what? That's going to take a while to pay off.
Hmmm, but since it's already maxed. How about just getting the limit raised a bit and getting that TV we always wanted.
And from there, we are morons.
Personally, we think if you're going to operate your life like a small country, then others should have the right to invade and take over. Maybe your neighbor likes your lawn better than his. He can invade and if he wins, you are living in the next city over as a refugee trying to reassemble your forces. What a lesson to be learned huh?
It doesn't matter what state you're in. Utah, California or Texas debt consolidation is a serious thing for everyone. If you're living your life like a third world country, it's time to get it back to the greatness it once had.
It's also a good think to stop trading with Iran. Your neighbors might look down upon that.
YOU MIGHT BE A POLITICIAN IF:
If you can divulge classified information to the New York Times without fear of government prosecution, you might be a politician.
You might be a politician if you can take a government oath with your fingers crossed.
If you can spend at least five minutes not answering a simple yes or no question, you might be a politician.
You praise the benefits of a public school education but send your own children to private school.
You spend $315M for a job that pays $125K.
You can stand being in the same room with Hillary Clinton.
You can avoid the airport rules you helped write.
You're able to take paid time off to apply for a higher paying job and still keep your old job if you don't get it.
You can say, "My esteemed colleague" or "My friend from Indiana", and be lying through your teeth.
You got your last job by claiming to be a leader and then blame everyone else for your ineffectiveness.
You've never held a real job.
If you can say you support the troops and then withhold equipment they need, you're an asshole.
If you want illegal aliens to have more rights than Americans, you might be a politician.
Your net worth goes from $150K to $28M in six years or less.
You can be a former KKK member and accuse other people of being racist.
Your last name is Kennedy.
Your first $10K investment in the stock market returns $1.8M.
If your job gives you a Christmas break, Easter break, Thanksgiving break, Summer recess, Labor Day recess, Presidents Day recess, Spring break, expense paid trips to exotic places, boxes of little Capitol Hill key chains, an apartment in Washington, D.C, invitation to a different cocktail party every night, free haircuts, a limo driver for your government provided vehicles, and the best health coverage money taxpayer money can buy, you might be a politician.
If you're afraid of what a media outlet may say or think about you, you might be a politician.
If you can get free tickets to any major sporting event and not report them on your income tax, you may be a politician.
If you have a tan and comb over, you might be a politician.
You take delight in criticizing and/or embarrassing the U.S. military.
You can get someone a top paying national security job because they gave you $2M.
You were the last person to be seen with a reported missing woman and still not be a suspect.
You can write a document that the majority of Americans can't understand.
You're in your job because you were the least offensive person available.
You can claim you're busy doing the people's work and yet find time to write a book or two.
You can thank God for helping you write legislation to remove the word 'God' from the 'Pledge of Allegiance'.
You can get a special IRS tax reduction provision for a friend of yours.
You believe Tom Delay's reason for resigning from Congress.
You've never passed a lie detector test.
You were born with '666' tattooed on your scalp.
You have different definitions for politics and bribery.
If you favor illegal immigration but decline to sponsor an immigrant family because you say you can't afford to pay for their health and car insurance, food and housing, and schooling for their kids, you're definitely a politician.
You might be a politician if you can take a government oath with your fingers crossed.
If you can spend at least five minutes not answering a simple yes or no question, you might be a politician.
You praise the benefits of a public school education but send your own children to private school.
You spend $315M for a job that pays $125K.
You can stand being in the same room with Hillary Clinton.
You can avoid the airport rules you helped write.
You're able to take paid time off to apply for a higher paying job and still keep your old job if you don't get it.
You can say, "My esteemed colleague" or "My friend from Indiana", and be lying through your teeth.
You got your last job by claiming to be a leader and then blame everyone else for your ineffectiveness.
You've never held a real job.
If you can say you support the troops and then withhold equipment they need, you're an asshole.
If you want illegal aliens to have more rights than Americans, you might be a politician.
Your net worth goes from $150K to $28M in six years or less.
You can be a former KKK member and accuse other people of being racist.
Your last name is Kennedy.
Your first $10K investment in the stock market returns $1.8M.
If your job gives you a Christmas break, Easter break, Thanksgiving break, Summer recess, Labor Day recess, Presidents Day recess, Spring break, expense paid trips to exotic places, boxes of little Capitol Hill key chains, an apartment in Washington, D.C, invitation to a different cocktail party every night, free haircuts, a limo driver for your government provided vehicles, and the best health coverage money taxpayer money can buy, you might be a politician.
If you're afraid of what a media outlet may say or think about you, you might be a politician.
If you can get free tickets to any major sporting event and not report them on your income tax, you may be a politician.
If you have a tan and comb over, you might be a politician.
You take delight in criticizing and/or embarrassing the U.S. military.
You can get someone a top paying national security job because they gave you $2M.
You were the last person to be seen with a reported missing woman and still not be a suspect.
You can write a document that the majority of Americans can't understand.
You're in your job because you were the least offensive person available.
You can claim you're busy doing the people's work and yet find time to write a book or two.
You can thank God for helping you write legislation to remove the word 'God' from the 'Pledge of Allegiance'.
You can get a special IRS tax reduction provision for a friend of yours.
You believe Tom Delay's reason for resigning from Congress.
You've never passed a lie detector test.
You were born with '666' tattooed on your scalp.
You have different definitions for politics and bribery.
If you favor illegal immigration but decline to sponsor an immigrant family because you say you can't afford to pay for their health and car insurance, food and housing, and schooling for their kids, you're definitely a politician.
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