Sioux City, Iowa - Chanting "four more beers," students at Sioux City Community College gave Neo-Whig Presidential candidate Chest Notgerman a 10-minute standing ovation when he announced that if elected he will make happy hour (4-8pm) mandatory at all bars in America.
"Americans are the hardest working people in the world," said Notgerman. "And they deserve half-price drinks when they get off work for the day."
The Notgerman happy hour plan, entitled "Leave No Bar Behind," has received the enthusiastic support of the AASK, the American Association of Saloon Keepers. "Chest Notgerman is the greatest thing that has ever happened to the adult beverage industry," said Sam "Smitty" Smith, President of AASK. "And we aren't going to quit now. The AASK won't stop until wet t-shirt contests and dwarf-tossing receive the constitutional protection that they so richly deserve."
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